extended feelings

It is said that the second most intense life stress is loss of love. The first is death. But I question this? Both are final. Both, in most cases, result in the physical removal of someone special from your life. Both result in the loss of a way of life we have become familiar with. Both have resulted in hanging strings of things that were never said. However with death you have the peace of knowing you were in your lost loved one’s heart. You were not abandoned purposely, cast aside, or rejected. With death you can take off work and get sympathy. You are given gifts of comfort and understanding. You can go through closing rituals and you can feel contentment that they are in a better place. But with breakups, separation, or divorce, even though you have the assurance that they are still alive somewhere on this Earth, their love was intentionally withdrawn from you! They opted to leave you. We no longer have their presence, nor their care. They no longer want us. Either way, death or breakup, you had little say or control over the situation. I’ve often wondered if I had been able to deal with my loss easier if my ex had been taken away from me at God’s will while he still loved me, instead of his intentional, direct withdrawal of his love for me on his own volition. That’s not to say I wish him dead, oh my! That’s just to say I think my own personal grief would have been less self-destructive and more accepted and socially supported. I have been through both the death of a loved one, and the intentional physical and emotional withdrawal of a loved one, and I would have to say grief over breakup, separation, or divorce can be equally as devastating–if not more–than grief over the death of your loved one.

Look at the shapes, the lines, the flowers
See the color, the emotion, the shading
Hear it sing, hear it whisper, hear it preach
Notice the way it has no hatred
The way it reaches for your soul
Grabs the awe, the wonder, the joy
It has the power to speak to one in
Words only they can translate
1,000 words, 1,000 memories
And the hope of seeing 1,000 more.

What is menstruation?

Menstruation is a woman’s monthly bleeding, also called a period. When you menstruate, your body is shedding the lining of the uterus (womb). Menstrual blood flows from the uterus through the small opening in the cervix, and passes out of the body through the vagina. Most menstrual periods last from three to five days.
What is the menstrual cycle?

Menstruation is part of the menstrual cycle, which prepares your body for pregnancy each month. A cycle is counted from the first day of one period to the first day of the next period. The average menstrual cycle is 28 days long. Cycles can range anywhere from 21 to 35 days in adults and from 21 to 45 days in young teens.

Body chemicals called hormones rise and fall during the month to make the menstrual cycle happen.
What happens during the menstrual cycle?

In the first half of the cycle, levels of estrogen (the “female hormone”) start to rise and make the lining of the uterus (womb) grow and thicken. At the same time, an egg (ovum) in one of the ovaries starts to mature. At about day 14 of a typical 28-day cycle, the egg leaves the ovary. This is called ovulation.

After the egg has left the ovary it travels through the fallopian tube to the uterus. Hormone levels rise and help prepare the uterine lining for pregnancy. A woman is most likely to get pregnant during the three days before ovulation or on the day of ovulation. Keep in mind, women with cycles that are shorter or longer than average may ovulate earlier or later than day 14.

If the egg is fertilized by a man’s sperm cell and attaches to the uterine wall, the woman becomes pregnant. If the egg is not fertilized, it will break apart. If pregnancy does not occur, hormone levels drop, and the thickened lining of the uterus is shed during the menstrual period.

Focusing on Your Feelings

You can’t tell your friends what’s inside your backpack if you don’t know what’s in there yourself. Feelings are the same way. Before you can share them with anyone, you have to figure out what feelings you have.

Making a list of your feelings can help. You can do this in your head or by writing it out on a piece of paper or even by drawing pictures. Is something bothering you? Does it make you sad or angry? Do you feel this emotion only once in a while or do you feel it a lot of the time?

When you’re trying to figure out your feelings, it might help to remember something that happened and think about how it made you feel. Then you can say, "I feel sad when my friend doesn’t play with me" or "I feel angry when my brother always wins at baseball." This can help you figure out your own feelings. It also gives the person you’re talking with more information about what’s bothering you.
Why Talk About Your Feelings?

The way a person feels inside is important. It can be really hard not to tell anyone that you’re feeling sad, worried, or upset. Then, it’s just you and these bad feelings. If you keep feelings locked inside, it can even make you feel sick!

But if you talk with someone who cares for you, like your mom or dad, you will almost always start to feel better. Now you’re not all alone with your problems or worries. It doesn’t mean your problems and worries disappear magically, but at least someone else knows what’s bothering you and can help you find solutions.

Your mom and dad want to know if you have problems because they love you and they want to know what’s happening in your life. But what if a kid doesn’t want to talk with mom or dad? Then find another trusted adult, like a relative or a counselor at school. Maybe this person can help you talk with your mom and dad about your problem or concern.
How to Talk About Your Feelings

Once you know who you can talk with, you’ll want to pick a time and place to talk. Does it need to be private, or can you talk with your brother and sister in the room? If you think you’ll have trouble saying what’s on your mind, write it down on a piece of paper. If the person doesn’t understand what you mean right away, try explaining it a different way or give an example of what’s concerning you. Is there something you think could be done to make things better? If so, say it.

Some kids - just like some adults - are more private than others. That means some people will feel more shy about sharing their feelings. A kid doesn’t have to share every feeling he or she has, but it is important to share feelings when a kid needs help. You don’t have to solve every problem on your own. Sometimes you need help. And if you do, talking about your feelings can be the first step toward getting it.